Condulus' All-American Maintenance Game 7/3/12 Servers Open!

[torzini]

If your in-game character came to visit you in the U.S.A. (or you and your character came to visit the U.S.A), what would you do? We want you to write
a story about your adventures here. Make sure the story is appropriate and post it here in response in this thread.

Does the story have to have me in it? I want to do this, but I think it'd be funner to write a story about my character getting dropped onto Earth without having a clue what's going on and wreaking havoc on everything around (without having me, personally, be present as a character anywhere).

o:

[glitterbugrox]

"Something you would eat on Independence day"

What do you americano's eat on Independenc day??

Hot dogs, hamburgers, chesseburgers.....basically anything super fatty and unhealthy for us

lol so true its a bit scary xD

Come on, only few americans actually eat healthy. Thats why our country is the fattest. Anyway, HAPPY PIG OUT DAY! I mean, Happy 4th of July

[silverton711]

In this story I have to replace my real name Silverton with another name since Silverton is also the name of my toon. For name sakes I will call myself something simple like Bill. I am sorry for errors and how long it is.

As I start my daily routine I get up and open my window to another beautiful day. I walk pass my coffee table on the way to the kitchen and I notice the mysterious letter on the counter. I think to myself that if this letter is telling the truth than today is the day that one of my allods toons will appear at my doorstep on a scientific mission to gather intel on future-ish weapons that could be used against Aidenus’ and the League’s foes. I shrug all this off while I grab some coffee and head to my desk to read some news on the internet. A couple hours go buy and a hear a knocking at my door.

“Who is it?” I scream. To my dismay I hear no answer, except for another knock at my door.

I get up and open the door to reveal a guy decked out in butterfly wings, a replica of the crystal armor, some crystallized fists at his waist and a glowing aura on the back of his head, which I know the aura to be the patron aura from when you log in or after you die.

“Are you Bill?” replies this tall muscular man in cosplay before me.

“Depends whose asking”

“I am Silverton the warrior who hails under the lord Aidenus the protector of Novograd and our fair continent that floats in the astral. I was sent here on a special mission to give us a one up on the Empire. Did you not receive my letter?”

“I received a letter, but thought it was a practical joke. Can you do anything to prove to you are really Silverton and not some guy in good cosplay.”

To my amazement right on my doorsteps he summons a frosty lion with crown that roars in my ears and shakes painting off my walls. I stumble back from the sound with a massive ringing in my ears. With a quick malicious blow the lion vanishes and he punches a hole into my doorways.

“Ok ok I believe you just don’t spin again or summon any mounts please. How can I help you on this special mission and how much gold is involved upon completion?”

“Aidenus has sent me on a quest to borrow technology and learn from the people of the Allod USA. The gold value is 240g and 44s. Just enough for us to buy gold dust and upgrade our two level 6 runes into a 7.”

“Well come in first and I’ll show you my computer and something I know you will enjoy that’ll make the x-bow on your back useless.”

As Silverton walks in though my door his butterfly wings knock over my floor pot setting on another coffee table. With his quick reflexes he is able to catch before it hits the ground. He sets it gently down and removes his butterfly wings and replaces it with his crystallized cloak. I think him and motion him over towards my couch and I put my laptop down in front of him. With a confused look on his face he asks me what this is. I tell him it’s a backpack size library with all the information you could ever want to know on it. I tell him to type whatever he wants into the box and it’ll bring up results.

Right off the bat he gets to typing “How to defeat the Empire”. The first result is a Star Wars page and he clicks on it (he understands this computer stuff with ease). Immediately a little light glows and a check mark appears above his head marking off “Obtain information”.

“Well we have finished this part of the quest. Let’s move onto the next part of business. New equipment.”
Immediately I run off to my room to come back and reveal a gun case. I move my laptop to the side and lay the gun case on the table to reveal my precious and AK-47 with butt folding stock. Maple finish, a 4x zoom scope, and a nice 30 round banana clip setting underneath it in the Styrofoam.

“What is this contraption that you show to me in this case?”

“That my friend is what we call a gun. Much more effective than them arrows and bolts you guys shoot. Come with me and I’ll show you what this can do.”

I lead Silverton out my back door towards my woods with my gun case in tow. We get to a semi cleared area with several targets set up at 25 yards, 50 yards, and 100 yards. I take the gun out and give him a quick run through of how it works and how to fire it. I step back and let him fire it a couple of time at the 25 yard target. Just like VATS he is able to get it in the first shot with ease.

“Ok now move onto the 50 yard target Silver.”

I’m watching as he aims the gun to the 50 yard mark. He pulls the trigger and nothing happens. He pulls again and nothing happens. I take the gun from him, inspect it, and find no faults in the gun. It occurs to me than that warrior’s have a very low range and 50 yards is too far for him to hit.

“Well I guess next I can show you our food, our mounts, and send you on your way, since it must be getting time for you to go.”

Leading Silverton back to my house I run inside real quick, put the gun away, and grab my car keys. We both get into my car and take off to the nearest restaurant, my favorite Mexican place in town. We get to our destination and eat. Without warning though Silverton up and vanishes and in my pocket I find 240 gold coins and 44 silver. I get back home only to find my laptop missing and my beautiful gun missing, but god allods is cool with guns.

[georgeestregan69]

contest #1 : My toon and i will visit famous spots in USA never been there. So with his rhino we can go to different places and fight bad guys. Charge there, punt kick there, agonizing strike others Help those who are oppress. And try famous restuarants in USA.

contest #2 :


Drumbeats League Yul

[muysama]

If Muysboytoy had come to America or I have met him in Russia (Which is where I am), we would both dress up in Arisen undies and walk around town (Such embarrassment, since my orc and I are different genders, ROOAAAAR NO BRA DAY!!!!!:evil:). Then when its night, we'd dress up in Elven Evening Attire (The none bugged version for orcs) and go to the club, rock the dance floor (Literally, knowing my orc there'd probably be holes in the floor).
Later that day I'd make him use Rhapsody on me, so that I can have a G cup .
On the next day we would go to the sex shop to buy pink handcuffs (Very strong ones), then later that day, I will lure him into the salon, cuff him up, and start waxing (What orc doesn't need waxing DOH!!). Later that night we would go to the orthodontics, we'd get him braces, after that we would go get him liposuction, a wig, we'd cut those HORRIBLE mustaches he has, get rid of those crooked bunny ears (I feel sad for that bunny who had to die to make those), do plastic surgery (The face), then after all of that is done......TADAAAAAAA my orc is now a xagadanian, WOOOOOOT.

After a while of him adjusting to his new body, we would elixer up, and go cause havoc on the Novograd, go corner a random giberling, kill him, clean his insides out, eat his organs, wash the skin or what's left of it = I have a new jacket YAY!!! After we are done feasting, we would go to pick up an elf, drag her in the darkest corners of lightwood, strangle her to death, pluck her wings, glue them to my new xagadanian and we would both fly back to Nezebgrad.
My story.............soz I'm a bit tipsy atm

[vemonalice]

Contest #1:
Arriving at the airport, the day is finally here! I get to meet Epi! Security is stupid as usual, but after getting felt up by two male attendants and a female security officer I'm soon on my way.

The place is packed; calls, screams and controlled chaos is rampant. The announcer proclaims that the exit terminal for Epi's plane is ready for exiting arrives. I rush to the gate with a sign that says "Epi Eats Free".

Immediately I see a commotion coming from the passengers leaving. Most are sick to their stomachs and then she appears. EpidamicVenom, my summoner, her hellion carrying her luggage and a smile on her face. It's plain to see what happened. "You VI'd the passengers didn't you?" with an evil grin the expected response, "Maybe, but they'll never admit it."

This is going to be the greatest time ever.

Contest #2:


White: Plate
Red: Strawberry Lemonade Powerade
Blue: My Pant leg
Edible: Egg and Cheese sammich on a bun!

[allodsvirelai]

I don't know enough about Independence Day to guess what you guys might eat being an Aussie (plus that is the only food I have in the house!) but who doesn't love cookies?

[fooltorule]

So this story begins with a quest by the ruler of Novagrad. "Go to this strange new world and report back to me with your findings", the ruler said to the valiant archer. "Yes your excellency" said Archerjeff as he entered the ship. Minutes later the ship floated away at light speed into space. As the ship began to slow the archer looked out the window to see a giant blue and white marble coming closer and closer. "it looks so amazing" Jeff said as the poofy white clouds spiraled and engulfed the ship.

The ship then came to a stop at the surface. In the distance was a large city with towers that went strait into the clouds. "What is this strange place. Its almost like home but just with a few oddities. Well it looks like the being that live here are over in that town. Ill have to head that way i guess". The walk was long and very hot but he soon made it to the edge of the city. Just as he did he saw movement. "Oh man, what are these ugly creatures. They look so odd. I wonder if they are friendly". "Hello stranger. may i ask where this is?", said Jeff. "Why Howdy there partner. This here is Texas, Usa.", said the stranger. "thanks. Hmm, so this is Texas. What an odd place." said Jeff.

So Jeff began to walk around and saw many things. Fireworks with their huge fiery explosions. Targets with rows and rows of cloths (which he at first though was this world auction house). But best of all he experienced the 4th of July and saw how people celebrated their independence. It reminded him of his home and all the wonderful people he knew and respected.

After hours of walking around he came to a spot in the city with a big try in the center. Siting by the tree was a squirrel eating A nut. As soon as he saw this he remembered the quest he had done in Lightwood with the rabid squirrel and all the amazing items he had gotten from it. So he decided to see if killing it got him anything. So he shot it with one of his bows killing it instantly. He was confused that a small bag didn't drop from it, so he took the fur. He walked around with the fur asking everyone he met if they wanted to buy it from him but he only got strange looks and screams from children. He finally found a man at a cart that was willing to buy it. Apparently he sold hot dogs. Whatever those are.

So Jeff decided to get more fur to sell. He went back to the tree to find another squirrel. He was in luck as another squirrel had taken the other ones place. " hurrah, it re spawned", Jeff said. But when Jeff shot at it he missed and the squirrel ran up the tree. "No i missed. I guess ill have to climb the tree to find it." He climbed and climbed as when he reached to top he realized he had no way down. This Condulus, is how i got stuck in the strange land of Texas. I am still stuck in the tree but you can help me. By giving me the Cowboy vanity you will be helping me because my cloths are very dark and uncolorful but the vanity is spiffy and colorful.

Sincerely, Archerjeff

[pubescent]

It was a normal Sunday evening, or as normal as a Sunday evening could be playing on my computer all day. I hadn’t moved in a few hours, and my bladder was starting to reach its capacity. I knew, with experience that I had a few more minutes before I had to rush to the bathroom, so I continued to play Allods. I was far to busy jumping around Yasker’s Tower to pay attention to something as insignificant as a bodily function. That’s when the unexpected started to happen; my Xadaganian Psionicist was no longer responding to my controls. I pressed harder on the space bar, but my character still wouldn’t jump onto the railing I had been circling for 30 minutes straight. I banged my keyboard against my desk, hoping that the problem would be solved through brute force. Looking back up at my monitor to give it another test, my heart skipped a beat as I was shaken to my very core.

A hand was sticking out of the monitor; a bloody, callous hand that was stretching its fingers wide, reaching for my throat. I froze in shock for a moment, but as the hand grew to an arm, and its fingers started to get closer, I jumped out of my char in a panic. In the back of the mind, I knew this was a dream. The thought should have been reassuring, but it only caused me to hyperventilate. One never acknowledges a dream being a dream, so the only logical conclusion was that this was real.

I backed myself into a corner as a shoulder and torso came out of the monitor next. The head appeared afterwards and I whimpered in fear. Her hair was cut to medium length and died a bright red. I’d recognize that face anyway. My Psionicist, Pubescent was escaping from my computer. I did the only rational thing. I grabbed its arm and started to push it back into my computer.

“Get back inside Pubescent, I’m not done jumping around Yaskers yet.” I said as I forcefully pushed on her head in order to force her compliance. She wasn’t going to go easily. Her strength was far greater than mine and she had no trouble resisting my efforts as she continued to escape my monitor. I strongly wished that I did not spend hours of my day having her run around. If I only waited patiently inside of running around in circles, maybe she would not have the strength to resist my attempts so effortlessly.

I retreated to my corner once it was clear that I’d have no luck in getting her back inside. My whimpering continued as she fully emerged from my monitor. Shock kept me feet in place. The first thing I realized was that she had blood all over her, and her clothes were covered in stains. She patted herself down before focusing her dark brown eyes on my frightened form. She lifted her hand, causing me to flinch as she pointed at me.

“You!” She screamed angrily, curling her hand into a fist. It seemed to take all her control not to punch me. I whimpered once more and felt my bladder start to drain itself of all of its contents. I strongly wished that I had gone to the bathroom five minutes earlier.

“How dare you!” She continued in rage. I opened my mouth to speak but all that escaped was a squeak as she stepped closer. “I knew I was doomed when my handler decided to name me Pubescent, but I thought I’d give you a chance.” She said as she grabbed me by the shirt, forcing me to stand up. I swayed on my feet before I was able to catch my balance. She poked me roughly in the chest. I winced; even her fingers had muscles.

“But…” I said before her glare caused my mouth to snap shut. I wasn’t sure why I was trying to argue with my avatar.

“All my friends get to sit peacefully in Yasker’s while you have me run around like an idiot. During the first couple of months I figured your enthusiasm for circle running would stop, but it hasn’t. Almost two years now! Two years and I’m still running in circles.”

“I’m sorry!” I cried desperately before shooting a glance at the door. Why I hadn’t run from the room when I was given the chance, I’ll never know, but there might still be hope for a retreat. She noticed my glance and only laughed dryly.

“You think I’ll let you escape? Did you let me escape when you made me run head first into a group of warriors the other day? I was just cannon fodder to them. They laughed as they killed me slowly. I suffered through a minute of agony and defeat and what did you do? You did it again!” I winced as she poked me again in the exact same spot.

I remembered the fight she was talking about. We had no chance of victory, so I did the only entertaining thing possible and just kept charging into a half a dozen leagues repeatedly. At the time it was fun, but I desperately wished that I could take it back.

My silence seemed to enrage her, and she grabbed me by the throat and started to squeeze. I had nothing to say, but the lack of vocal cords would have prevented me from talking anyway. I gasped as my vision started to fade into blackness and I only heard one thing before I lost conciousness.

“I’ll show you mercy and only kill you once, when you’ve gotten me killed thousands of times.” She said in a whisper.

The End

TLDR: If my character came to town, I'm pretty sure she would kill me for all the crap I put her through.

[vegasluxe]

If Olesya visited me in the U.S.A i would take her on a country wide road trip to visit historical landmarks and other iconic places that make our country very special in Allod Mounts . our trip would cover from west to east coast. we would visit Hollywood, Yosemite National Park, Pearl Harbor, Grand Canyon National Park, Las Vegas, The Alamo, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone National Park, Mall of America, Miami Beach, Washington D.C of course along with Gettysburg and also take her to visit NYC, Statue of Liberty, Broadway, Time Square & The Empire State Building. These are just a few locations from many more that would be included in our road trip. Showing a stranger your home is a very proud thing and shows how special and unique the United States Is. Happy Independence Day/4th of July!!